Make Room For Joy

I just surprised myself and said these words out loud–by myself, out of nowhere—“I love my life!”

I actually stopped, looked around to confirm that no-one else was there, then thought, “wow, that was pretty cool.”

All I was doing was looking in my refrigerator, deciding what to make for dinner, when, BAM! a sense of joy and well-being washed over me. The truth is—I really do love my life. I love who I am, I love what I am becoming and I love what I want to bring to the world. Conceited, you say? Self-centered? Arrogant? I used to think so too.

As spiritual beings living this human life, our only job on this planet is to find what sets us on fire and do it!! Be it!!

I didn’t understand that before. I lived a life of keeping myself small to fit in with the people around me who might be upset by my energy and passion. My child self kept quiet so I didn’t rock the boat and upset the delicate dance of the family unit. My adult self was afraid to fly away and let others find their own path if my spirit needed to soar. Well, my soul kept calling until I did.

The interesting thing about the above self-declaration is that all day I was bobbing up and down like a see-saw from fear thoughts to thoughts of faith—back and forth, back and forth. But, this time, when I felt the fear thoughts I knew they were just my mind trying to keep me from feeling free, so I loved them and let them pass. I acknowledged them, told myself they weren’t real and let them float away.

I think that made room for the joy!

While I may have to remind myself of this truth again tomorrow, it’s becoming more second nature to live in the ease and flow of trust and well-being.

Today I will remember that ups and downs are normal, any fear I have is an illusion and that we are here to feel and spread joy!

5 Ways to Shed The Shoulds and Set Yourself Free

It wasn’t so long ago that I lived my life in a world of “shoulds”–a world of feeling obligated instead of feeling free.

“I should respond to that email.”

“He’ll be mad if I don’t call him back.”

“I should probably accept that job.”

“I guess I should go to that party.”

A lot of my “shoulds” were a result of old beliefs I developed as a child stemming from fear, self doubt and feelings of unworthiness. I thought if I did everything right, nobody would get angry and I would be safe. As a result, I always did what I thought other people expected of me, and I felt responsible for their reactions and moods.

But now, on my spiritual path back to essence, I am choosing to lead my life from bravery and authenticity by doing what honors my true desires and feeds my soul—even if it doesn’t sit right with someone else. Here are some steps I’ve been taking to help guide me to the decisions that are for my highest good. Try them and see how they work for you!

Think “no” first. If you’re not 100% sure that you are following your truth, sit with it for awhile. I used to think I had to respond to someone immediately. Now I either say something like, “I’ll get back to you on that soon,” or I wait to respond at all.

Listen to your soul. “Shoulds” can be expectations that others have set for us, or unconscious expectations that we have set for ourselves. Sitting quietly and asking, “Is this right for me?” can allow us to hear the answers already within us.

Feel your body. Where does this feeling lie in your body? Does this idea feel like a contraction or an expansion? If I am about to do or say something I really don’t want to, I sometimes feel a tightening in my throat, for example. Our truth always feels open and light.

Does this bring you joy? Picture yourself in the situation and envision yourself taking the action. Do you feel joy? Connecting with your true spirit lifts you up, up, up!!

Ask yourself why?  Does it feel like you actually have a choice or does it feel like an obligation? If you are sacrificing yourself to please someone else, it is not the truth and it’s not serving anyone. Doing things for others from a place of honesty sends tingles up your spine, creates a feeling of connection and sends positive vibes out into the universe. An obligation feels heavy and daunting.

Today I can remember that the word “responsible” is really response-able, meaning that I am able to respond in a way that honors my truth and serves the highest good of all.

Are You Ready To Heal?

In part 3 of my interview with Shaman and life coach Jennifer Monahan, she brings us into the spirit world she enters in order to help us heal and describes the ideal candidate to benefit from shamanic healing.

Listen to the audio here:

Lorna:  All right, so this is part three of my interview with Jennifer . So when you do sessions with people, do you have to … okay this is going to sound weird but I didn’t know how else to say it, do you have to screen people before you do a session? Do you do sessions with anyone or are there certain people that you do sessions with? Do you ask questions to determine like, “No, you wouldn’t benefit from this,” or…

Jennifer:  If somebody has some questions and wants to know if this is the right thing for them, I’ll definitely have a conversation. If they feel that it’s not right for them, I honor that but no, I don’t screen people.

Lorna:  How do people find you?

Jennifer: I was just going to say, I feel like the people who come to me are the people who are, I’m going to say, ready for this type of healing. And I use healing loosely because a shaman works to heal the soul or the spirit which can lead to physical, mental and emotional healing but the focus is first on the soul or the spirit.

Lorna:  That’s interesting.

Jennifer:  So people who come to me are already open to the idea usually.  And I will be honest, sometimes, I don’t know how people find me. I get a lot of hits from all over the world on my website. Every day, there are hits on my website and people are reading my blog. People are responding to what I’m posting on Facebook and something triggers them when they’re ready, when the time is right for them to reach out to me.

Lorna:  Because I guess when they search, they could even search healing or spiritual healing or something and all sorts of stuff will come up but if they’re even searching that then they’re already attracted to the possibilities.

Jennifer:  Yes, and then the other thing that has helped is the book. I’ve got a number of people coming to me after they read the book saying, “Hey, I think I need your help.” And for those people what I’m hearing is they feel like they know me. I’m not some mysterious person because they know a part of my story and I feel real to them and human and helpful and whatever else attributes.

Lorna:  And part of what, to me, makes you feel so normal is that your book consists of journal entries, your journal entries. And most of us write journals. I know when I was a teenager, I had a diary, that kind of thing … so it allows us to see how the process unfolded for you and your experiences in your thoughts. And it seems it makes so much sense and it allows us to kind of get to know you as a person by seeing your own journal entries.

Jennifer:  Right, exactly.

Lorna:  So is there like an ideal person who would benefit from a session? Is there an ideal person?

Read more Are You Ready To Heal?

Unblock Your Abundance

“For the earnest student, taking responsibility means never forgetting to have fun.”

Seriously,

   The Universe 

(Taken from “Notes From The Universe”)

I awoke today so grateful for the abundance of comforts in my life—my wonderful bed and my sanctuary apartment. The blessed support groups I belong to and my open heart to the divine unknown.

Yet, as is common after waking, almost immediately following those feelings of wonder came feelings of lack. The mind does this, right? As soon as my heart opens up, my ego becomes afraid and thinks it still has to keep me safe. It says to me, “Why do you feel blessed? You know you’re not where you want to be.” and “How will you make enough money or ever have companionship again?”

Well, I have learned enough about my ego to know that whatever it says is a bunch of bunk.

It’s my soul that tells me what’s real, and I have trusted myself and the Universe for long enough to know that my abundance is already out there. Yup, it’s just waiting for me. So I am very conscious and aware when I am not in that high vibration to attract it into my life.

So here’s the thing…..

I am an excellent student—always have been. I am the one who  gets straight A’s. I’m the over-achiever, the uber-prepared and the problem solver because I felt I had to prove my worth. But even though  I can feel my truth now, I am still trying to get that perfect “A” –this time on my spiritual journey of self-healing.

When people ask me, “Oh, are you dating anyone yet?” I automatically say, “Oh no! I still have so much more healing and work to do on myself.”

Them: “Got any plans this weekend? Wanna go to the movies?”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I have so much to writing to catch up on for my Blog.”

Them: “Wanna go for a drink after work?”

Me: “Wow, I wish I could. I have 3 self-help courses I’m working on right now.”

What is that?

That feels like a block to me. Am I telling myself (and the Universe) that I am not ready to move on—that I’m not enough yet?  Am I closing myself off under the strictness and discipline of “getting better”?

It feels like a suppression. A denial of what my soul actually wants–to have fun and receive!

Receive! Receive! Receive! Yes, it has been long enough now and I am passionate to receive the love and joy I have to give. And I am ready to be in the flow of allowing and instead of trying so hard. Nothing is going to pass me by because I go out to dinner with a friend. I’m not going to backtrack and fall under someone’s spell again if I lean toward what feels light to my spirit.

So even though I want to find out more about the young woman in me who wasn’t aware she was being manipulated and tricked and silenced, I also want to be free and to welcome joy and love into my life again. There is no “done now!” in self-exploration. I don’t have to wait for all the answers before I allow myself to accept love and be more playful and joyous. I don’t have to take my healing so seriously. And I don’t have to choose one over the other.

I know that the unravelling of falsehoods naturally begins in the presence of attracting and receiving Joy. This is the place where I heal the most—this open space of allowing light into my life.

So this is the place where I get to “lighten up”! This is where I get to have fun! Be playful! Goof off!

This is the place where I remember who I am.

This is the place where I raise my vibration for all I desire and all I want to gift.

This is the place where I get to live my soul’s purpose.

Today I choose light over heavy in all aspects of my life and I know my outer world will  mirror my inner condition.

Trauma and Miracles: Interview With a Shaman Part 2

In part 1 of our 3 part interview with Jennifer Monahan, she described how a mysterious stranger introduced her to her spiritual calling. Now in part 2, hear how a traumatic event led her to do things she never imagined she would do.

Here’s the audio version, if you’d rather listen!

https://www.aheartbasedlife.com/interviews/

 

Lorna:  Okay, perfect. So this is all so interesting about how that happened, like out of the blue.

Jennifer:  Out the blue.

Lorna:  You weren’t there searching for anything like that to happen at all.

Jennifer:  I didn’t even know what a shaman was.

Lorna:  So now, you come back to San Francisco. You were working full-time.

Jennifer:  I was working full time. I was a Business Strategy Consultant working long hours and…

Lorna:  Traveling a lot from what I remember.

Jennifer:  Traveling every week. Yes, on a plane every Sunday or Monday and home every Thursday or Friday and yet at the same time, I was getting trained by my guides.

Lorna:  Wow.

Jennifer:  It was a pretty intense time.

Lorna:  Wow. So, someone I know calls that side hustle or side gig or something like that.

Jennifer:  It was a side gig.

Lorna:  Yes.

Jennifer:  It really was.

Lorna:  So then, you decide to quit your job.

Jennifer:  Well, I decided to start doing the Shamanic work on the side.

Lorna: Okay.

Jennifer:   And so, I launched Spirit Evolution in 2014.

Lorna:  Tell us what Spirit evolution is.

Jennifer:  Spirit evolution is my Shamanic business.

Lorna:  Okay.

Jennifer:  I had been doing Shamanic sessions on friends and family for some time before that and I said, “Okay, I am ready to make this official.” And so, I created websites and actually created an LLC around it and have built an organization and launched it to friends and family in September of 2014.

Lorna:  And so, you did that on the side.

Jennifer:  Then, I did that on the side. I did that on the side because I wanted to have a little bit of a safety net, right?

Lorna:  Yes, yes.

Jennifer:  In San Francisco, the rent’s so expensive and I wasn’t quite ready to walk away from that kind of income.

Lorna:  Yes.

Jennifer:  Two months later, I was walking across the street in the financial district and a minivan hit me at 25 miles an hour. Read more Trauma and Miracles: Interview With a Shaman Part 2

Free Workshop! “Follow Your Intuition-Shift Your Life!”

I am holding a free talk,  sharing some life changing experiences about following that inner voice!

Please feel free to join me Sunday, November 19th  from 4-6pm at the 2000 Post Apartments. The workshop will be held in the HobNob Lounge inside the complex.

2000 Post Street, San Francisco, Ca 94115

Sign up here to get more updates on this event, discover more events like this in the future, and read more inspiration on how to find your best self!!

Much Love,

Lorna

 

 

A Love Letter to Myself

Dear Precious One,

It’s ok that you are sad. It’s ok that you are lonely. You are feeling this way because you are having the courage to step outside of what you know and follow your soul’s guidance.

You are light.

I know it has felt like you have been begging to be loved for so long. You want so much to feel relevant and valid and you long to be seen and heard by the person who loves you. But if you find that in yourself first, you will see that the person who loves you the most is you. Self love and self acceptance is what you are here to learn now, then you will see it all around you. Then you will see it from others.

You have gained so much in the last 2 years. You have come so far.

Remember when you left Mexico and you stood there and you said goodbye? Your heart was on the ground but you went anyway. You are crying now as you write this because it was a breaking of your own heart, and the hardest thing you have ever done or ever imagined having to do.

How do you leave when you still love someone? Yet you did.

Your ego could have tolerated more but your soul was dying. When you were ready to see that, you became brave. You trusted what you felt and you blindly walked into your future. You became aware and conscious.

You are light.

Yes it is so scary. And so very lonely.

I know you want that love for yourself–the kind of love you felt for him. You want someone to love you that way, too.

But that’s the thing, don’t you see?

It is inside YOU–all that love for yourself has to be found in YOU. The love for you COMES from you and it be will be even MORE than you felt for him! And then–when you feel it from deep in your soul, you will be in your joy and in your truth and THEN you will feel it from another.  You will automatically attract it  because you won’t need it to complete you.

When you are in that higher vibration, then it will come.

But you are learning that it is both painful and joyous to love yourself.

I know you are blaming yourself for all those times that you stayed in the trauma. But those times when you sacrificed yourself trying to help the ones you loved–when you let other people treat you with disrespect–you know what? Those times had to happen for you to see what your soul really wanted.

Each time you gave yourself away and lost pieces of your heart , little sparks of awareness were rising up.

That was the beginning of your emergence!

You are light.

It all happened exactly how it needed to happen.

I know you grieve for the amount of time that has passed and for how old you are now. You feel like it is so late in life. You feel guilty because you knew for so long but you didn’t do anything,

You can forgive yourself now because I am telling you, this couldn’t have happened any sooner than it did. You hadn’t hit your bottom yet. You hadn’t learned everything you needed to learn from him–and yourself.

But as you learned, your vibration got higher and higher because you realized that you were joy and light.

You stayed because you loved him, and you left when your soul told you it was time. No sooner.

And see? The marriage was perfect for you at the time and served the exact purpose you asked it to serve. You weren’t supposed to leave until you left.

The universe has a plan and it knows so much more than you do about what is waiting for you. You are at exactly the right age to help the group of people who will benefit from your experience.

So always remember that

You are light.

Plus, so much more is being healed than the loss of your 32 year marriage. You are healing from a lifetime of unconscious beliefs that made that relationship perfect for you to begin with.

But then it was not. Then you became aware.

And you began reading the things your soul guided you to read

And you were led to understand a purpose much bigger than trying to figure out what to do next or where to go.

So feeling unheard and unseen is part of your journey. Maybe you weren’t meant to be seen and heard by him. You will use the awareness of that to arrive home inside of you.

It is a slow journey but you will be surprised and elated when you see what is waiting for you.

You are light.

And I know you are so afraid for him, but he will be OK. His destiny is certain, also. He is being guided and watched, just like you. You can let go of your fears for him because it was never you who could have made his journey a smooth one–it was him. It is all of us. You can forgive yourself for his pain. His pain is his, not yours.  I know it’s hard to relinquish responsibility for someone else. That is one of the big lessons that you are learning.

But look at all the old negative beliefs that you are tackling now!

You used to think you had to do more and more and more to prove yourself worthy of love and respect. Now you see where that came from and you can open the friggin’ door and let that one go, knowing it isn’t who you really are.

You used to think you had to fix someone’s pain and sacrifice yourself to prove your love and devotion. But now you have learned how to detach and allow others the dignity of finding their own way.

You beat yourself up when you forget to set boundaries for yourself but, remember,  you are unlearning lifelong patterns, and every time you choose to set those boundaries, you see the power in that choice.

So all the pain you are feeling–all the pressure in your chest and the aching in your solar plexus--it’s your heart acknowledging your loss and it’s you stepping into more of your personal power and identity.  It’s your body and your soul feeling all the guilt and the shame and the fear and the sorrow and the courage it takes to leave the past behind and let all that go. It’s your body changing.

It’s time! It’s time to let that all go.

So be kind to yourself. Be patient with all the time it takes to feel and release these feelings. But remember:

You are light and your only job is to stay in light.

You will be OK. You will be amazing. You ARE amazing.

So just keep doing the next thing that feels amazing and then the next and the next and you will shine your light so bright.

When you are 100 years old, looking back on this time in your life, you will be able to see all that you have created from this new space of healing. Trusting yourself and Universal guidance is your grounding force.

I love you,

Yourself

 

 

 

 

Are You Trusting Your Intuition About Your Marriage?

A year before my divorce I never thought that I would leave my husband.

We were so in love—and also addicted to each other. We moved 5 times in the first 5 years we were married, and never made any friends outside of the relationship. We did everything together. Colleagues would ask me to go to lunch or go for a drink after work and I would automatically refuse, not even knowing why. I just knew we didn’t do that.

I see now how it happened. How we attracted each other, and how our relationship was perfect for what we needed to learn. I wanted someone so dominant that I wouldn’t have to build up the courage to find my voice, and he needed someone who would be willing to take the blame and never challenge him to look at himself.

Eventually we got sucked into a vortex of repetitive behavior that can kill a marriage—me trying to save someone who didn’t want to be saved, then dedicating my life to changing myself when it didn’t work. It was an instinctive and synchronized dance of destruction.

As a result, I lost myself. I revolved my life around him so much that I could no longer see myself as a distinct and separate person and I couldn’t identify how I felt about anything. The thought of having my own opinion felt too threatening to our connection, so, instead, I lost the ability to separate my own feelings and experiences from “ours”.

When everything fell apart, I was grief stricken and scared to death. I didn’t want to believe I was starting over. I remember the day I left. It was like I was being pulled away by a force so strong that I just—went. But I didn’t understand. Why was I doing this? What was giving me the strength to go?  What was I going to do next? Yet there was this inexplicable feeling of knowing that was so clear.

It’s amazing to me how slowly and carefully life is revealing the secrets of my individuality. It somehow knows that I need a hell of a long time to grieve then, just as the sadness begins to lift, it shows me step by step how to embrace the parts of me I have always loved, but had chosen to keep small. It feels like I am being nurtured and coddled by someone who knows much more than I do about life, but is giving me the chance to figure things out for myself.

Here are some absolute truths that have been revealed to me over the past year and a half.

Read more Are You Trusting Your Intuition About Your Marriage?

Someone Is Trying To Steal My Power and I’m Standing in My Worth

Have you ever felt like someone is trying to take your power away? Like you looked away for just a second and you suddenly realize that you feel manipulated?

I have been in a state of agitation all week.

I’ve been feeling like I am out of touch with my spirituality and I have lost my empowerment. You know what I mean? Like you know you are still in there somewhere, but you can’t remember how to get back to her?

There are people who continue to enter my life who challenge me and allow me to more closely examine my resilience and who test my sense of self worth. As I stand more in my truth and make decisions that honor me, I have to expect that they might not sit right with someone else. This person is not holding back in sending me very forceful messages that I should cut that crap out.

I knew it was there from the beginning— truth does not live with this person.

There is no one to trust here but me. I have been able to rise above the negativity for the most part by detaching, walking away from bad behavior, and turning fear into love. But now it feels like a subtle assault, worming its way more and more into my consciousness until I feel I am using all my spiritual capital just to transmute the antagonism.

For the last week I have felt nausea and stomach pains and I have not been able to digest my food. My chest is tight and my heart pounds.

I know that this is the physical manifestation of the negative energy that is passing through me. 

It’s all landing in my solar plexus which is associated with one’s personal power, taking responsibility for one’s life, establishing direction and confidence. God, this is perfect. It’s my intuition.

My old story is that I have allowed myself to shrink under someone else’s aggression.

Well, I won’t do that anymore. 

Wow! That sounds strong, right? (I’m practicing—it felt good!)

So, again, I welcome another opportunity to practice standing in my confidence and learning to use positive intention to set boundaries for myself.

Now I just have to do it.

Has anyone else faced something like this? I’d love to hear what you did.

Please leave a comment!

Evolving Emancipation

A year and a half ago I thought I was lost. When I left my 32 year marriage at the age of 55 all I saw was what I had left behind and I couldn’t see who I could be without my identity in that relationship.

My therapist wrote me a promise one day and I thought her ideas were lofty.

It spoke of rising up and taking on heartache for all it’s worth to flush out the falsehoods and emancipate myself from painful patterns that I was unable to face until now. She said I would look back and speak a prayer of gratitude for turning the worst thing that ever happened to me into the best.

I didn’t believe her then, but she was right. I am doing just that.

Now I follow my spirit and shine my light.

I am going to share what I have learned from the energy shift that happened in me and how I followed my inner guidance, regardless of fear, and trusted the unknown path ahead.

One of my first thrills was moving in to my own apartment, and feeling an overwhelming joy when I first opened my very own empty refrigerator. To me, it represented the excitement and anticipation of all that I was going to fill my life with. It starts with being alone. To ask myself “what do I even like, anyway?” I didn’t even know.

And thus begins the journey of self discovery.

I relish my own space, even through the pain of loneliness, because when I meet my match I will have used this time alone to heal myself and connect with my spirit.

One step at a time, my love.